Christmas had a different meaning for me when I was young and didn't quite know of our Lord, but yet it still gave me a glimpse of the Joy that I would one day find. The love was there, especially the many years I spent Christmas day with my grandparents at their home in Ellensburg. It seemed so simple, yet at the same time grand and eventful. But more important than all was that their home was filled with love. The chronic smiles and stories, the wonderful smells of cinnamon rolls (or other baked goodies) fresh out of the oven made with Joy, the warmth of the fire, and the playing of games like checkers or Yahtzee well into the evening with welcome and loving hearts. The most special gifts were simple too .. and I remember them like it was yesterday. The small paper wrapped oranges in my stocking, popcorn in tins that we'd share for the next week together, or a pair of new gloves to keep me warm when I was up sledding at Craig's Hill. Once in a while I would receive a model airplane or car that I had requested. But I don't seem to remember it specifically. Funny how we tend to recall vividly those things given or made for us in love, but not so much those items on our request "list". I also remember a few things that I should have paid more attention to ... like the real reason we were celebrating Christmas. I look back on it now and see it in a different perspective. It makes more sense and today I can realize that the presence of God was there with us, I just had not yet brought him into my life with proper perspective. Today, I hope that I can help my daughter see what His love has in store for us.
We love because he first loved us. 1 John 4:19
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Daily Challenges
Many times we are in situations at work or at home that bring us to a "breaking" point. These challenges we all face in our life's journey. It's not something that we get to choose. I hope and pray every day that when these moments arise I can somehow "rise above" my natural inclination to get angry or mad. How do we deal with such situations ? Especially if we've already made the mistake of speaking before thinking?
The first thing that we should do is stop and pray. Ask God for his forgiveness, and give it to him rather than allowing ourselves to languish in our own emotions, playing in our minds endless "what if's". This is an area that I know I personally need to work on. It's natural for me to want to "control" everything that I can, and in my heart I know better. Can I succeed? Yes, we all can - and it's so important that we help one another in ways that make us better at understanding and loving one another.
I see these things reflected back to me by my daughter Jenny. We, as children of God are no different. The frustrations, hurts or feelings that my daughter sometimes shows is present in me in many ways throughout my life. I can comfort her and help her see things in such a way that she can understand and I help her come back to what is important. God can do these things for us as adults just as we do for our children, if we will only let him.
The first thing that we should do is stop and pray. Ask God for his forgiveness, and give it to him rather than allowing ourselves to languish in our own emotions, playing in our minds endless "what if's". This is an area that I know I personally need to work on. It's natural for me to want to "control" everything that I can, and in my heart I know better. Can I succeed? Yes, we all can - and it's so important that we help one another in ways that make us better at understanding and loving one another.
I see these things reflected back to me by my daughter Jenny. We, as children of God are no different. The frustrations, hurts or feelings that my daughter sometimes shows is present in me in many ways throughout my life. I can comfort her and help her see things in such a way that she can understand and I help her come back to what is important. God can do these things for us as adults just as we do for our children, if we will only let him.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Learning Every Day
We as a family spend time together in many ways. Whether at the dinner table, walking in the neighborhood, or going to the grocery store. I've heard it mentioned that it's not the "quality" it's the "quantity" of time that you spend - and to be honest that seemed backwards to me at first. Yet from experience, we as family realize that we wouldn't have quality time together without actually spending the time first.
In the past year or so, I've made an effort to help my friend who is captain of our local "All Pro Dad" Chapter on the Eastside. This has given me the opportunity to spend time with my daughter Jenny, as well as with other dads and their children. We learn, laugh, and share together in such ways that I really look forward to every month. It is a wonderful experience and gives our family the opportunity to extend our reach to our community of friends and neighbors. These experiences develop character in our daughter and in ourselves, and for that we are very grateful.
In the past year or so, I've made an effort to help my friend who is captain of our local "All Pro Dad" Chapter on the Eastside. This has given me the opportunity to spend time with my daughter Jenny, as well as with other dads and their children. We learn, laugh, and share together in such ways that I really look forward to every month. It is a wonderful experience and gives our family the opportunity to extend our reach to our community of friends and neighbors. These experiences develop character in our daughter and in ourselves, and for that we are very grateful.
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Learing to handle your childs emotions
I can tell you that as a family we have struggled with the "strong willed" emotions of our 6 year old for more than a few months now, and it has been a real challenge. It is getting better as we focus on improvement. The worst part of any child's emotional outbursts is that it really pushes our parental buttons and can lead to anger and or words that we can regret. Quite frankly it is a real threat to good parenting and I'm sure most of you can relate to this. In my recent readings - primarily "Have a New Kid By Friday" by Dr. Kevin Lehman, I have to say that there are some key points that have helped us immensely in dealing with this.
#1 Respect - If you want your child to respect you, you must respect the child and that means giving them freedom and responsibility to make errors and learn from their mistakes. We can't coddle our little ones forever and as they grow up, they need to be understood and trusted.
#2 Use encouragement rather than praise - and don't expect perfection
#3 Be calm and assertive - don't escalate the emotions as your child will reflect them back to you. Our children can become not only a mirror of ourselves, but with their own personalities we have to understand that this can be multiplied back at us !!
It is no wonder that kids from families that yell at each other communicate by "yelling" . People that communicate in a peaceable fashion will find it more likely that they will receive respectful responses from (and between) their children. We all have our moments and patience can wear thin. I can tell you that we are learning these things around here and it gets better with time if you are committed to dealing with it. The hardest part for me is to focus on what is at hand and deal with it "now" rather than just putting it aside hoping it will just go away, or thinking it's "no big deal" and letting it go on. We had to miss a family movie that we planned to see the other day due to my daughter's outburst. Luckily, we stayed calm and dealt with the situation by explaining to her that she would not be able to go and that we had to cancel that day due to her outburst. We explained how disappointed we were, and the next day we as parents went to the movie and she stayed home with Grandma. She understood (without getting upset) why she could not go. A learning experience that helped not only our daughter, but ourselves.
#1 Respect - If you want your child to respect you, you must respect the child and that means giving them freedom and responsibility to make errors and learn from their mistakes. We can't coddle our little ones forever and as they grow up, they need to be understood and trusted.
#2 Use encouragement rather than praise - and don't expect perfection
#3 Be calm and assertive - don't escalate the emotions as your child will reflect them back to you. Our children can become not only a mirror of ourselves, but with their own personalities we have to understand that this can be multiplied back at us !!
It is no wonder that kids from families that yell at each other communicate by "yelling" . People that communicate in a peaceable fashion will find it more likely that they will receive respectful responses from (and between) their children. We all have our moments and patience can wear thin. I can tell you that we are learning these things around here and it gets better with time if you are committed to dealing with it. The hardest part for me is to focus on what is at hand and deal with it "now" rather than just putting it aside hoping it will just go away, or thinking it's "no big deal" and letting it go on. We had to miss a family movie that we planned to see the other day due to my daughter's outburst. Luckily, we stayed calm and dealt with the situation by explaining to her that she would not be able to go and that we had to cancel that day due to her outburst. We explained how disappointed we were, and the next day we as parents went to the movie and she stayed home with Grandma. She understood (without getting upset) why she could not go. A learning experience that helped not only our daughter, but ourselves.
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