I know that it has been a while since I've written on my blog. Recently, an event in our life has centered on tragic circumstances with the loss of our dear friend Kelly. He took his own life just over a week ago. He has been a true friend of mine for many years here in Bellevue, and became a good friend of my father Ron since they shared mutual interests. Kelly was here for me and my dad when my father faced the end of his life in 2011 ... and the support that we recieved was so much appreciated and will never be forgotten. Kelly cared and made sure we knew it. His calls and emails were a comfort to us. I now feel empty inside to know that he is gone. I didn't know how depressed my dear friend was. I wanted to be there for him like he was for me, and it's now it is too late. I can't believe this is true. The pain is so much to bear for his wife and children. Why Lord couldn't we know? Please comfort all, we pray for your loving hand to help hold us all up.
Kelly had faced recent physical challenges in the past two years. Moved back from Montana to be near treatment and family. His love of life had always been so strong and he was an active man who loved adventure in the outdoors. His fears were that it was getting harder to enjoy the life that he knew and cherished. My heart is heavy to think back now but not have realized that it was affecting him so. Dear Lord, I pray for his final rest with you in peace, and for your comfort and solace for his family. I pray that you comfort my family in our sadness. I pray for your guidance in knowing when others hurt and to help us reach them in any way we can with your help Lord. I know that there is much pain and sadness for many ... all year and even more pain for some during the holidays. Please don't let us forget those who are broken. We need to be there for family and friends and always consider the fact that every day is precious. Please shine the light that you would want me to share Lord. Please make it bright and drive out the darkness that we feel. In Jesus name we pray for your comfort and guidance, Amen.
Tuesday, December 25, 2012
Thursday, December 24, 2009
The Meaning of Christmas - In the eyes of a child then and now
Christmas had a different meaning for me when I was young and didn't quite know of our Lord, but yet it still gave me a glimpse of the Joy that I would one day find. The love was there, especially the many years I spent Christmas day with my grandparents at their home in Ellensburg. It seemed so simple, yet at the same time grand and eventful. But more important than all was that their home was filled with love. The chronic smiles and stories, the wonderful smells of cinnamon rolls (or other baked goodies) fresh out of the oven made with Joy, the warmth of the fire, and the playing of games like checkers or Yahtzee well into the evening with welcome and loving hearts. The most special gifts were simple too .. and I remember them like it was yesterday. The small paper wrapped oranges in my stocking, popcorn in tins that we'd share for the next week together, or a pair of new gloves to keep me warm when I was up sledding at Craig's Hill. Once in a while I would receive a model airplane or car that I had requested. But I don't seem to remember it specifically. Funny how we tend to recall vividly those things given or made for us in love, but not so much those items on our request "list". I also remember a few things that I should have paid more attention to ... like the real reason we were celebrating Christmas. I look back on it now and see it in a different perspective. It makes more sense and today I can realize that the presence of God was there with us, I just had not yet brought him into my life with proper perspective. Today, I hope that I can help my daughter see what His love has in store for us.
We love because he first loved us. 1 John 4:19
We love because he first loved us. 1 John 4:19
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Daily Challenges
Many times we are in situations at work or at home that bring us to a "breaking" point. These challenges we all face in our life's journey. It's not something that we get to choose. I hope and pray every day that when these moments arise I can somehow "rise above" my natural inclination to get angry or mad. How do we deal with such situations ? Especially if we've already made the mistake of speaking before thinking?
The first thing that we should do is stop and pray. Ask God for his forgiveness, and give it to him rather than allowing ourselves to languish in our own emotions, playing in our minds endless "what if's". This is an area that I know I personally need to work on. It's natural for me to want to "control" everything that I can, and in my heart I know better. Can I succeed? Yes, we all can - and it's so important that we help one another in ways that make us better at understanding and loving one another.
I see these things reflected back to me by my daughter Jenny. We, as children of God are no different. The frustrations, hurts or feelings that my daughter sometimes shows is present in me in many ways throughout my life. I can comfort her and help her see things in such a way that she can understand and I help her come back to what is important. God can do these things for us as adults just as we do for our children, if we will only let him.
The first thing that we should do is stop and pray. Ask God for his forgiveness, and give it to him rather than allowing ourselves to languish in our own emotions, playing in our minds endless "what if's". This is an area that I know I personally need to work on. It's natural for me to want to "control" everything that I can, and in my heart I know better. Can I succeed? Yes, we all can - and it's so important that we help one another in ways that make us better at understanding and loving one another.
I see these things reflected back to me by my daughter Jenny. We, as children of God are no different. The frustrations, hurts or feelings that my daughter sometimes shows is present in me in many ways throughout my life. I can comfort her and help her see things in such a way that she can understand and I help her come back to what is important. God can do these things for us as adults just as we do for our children, if we will only let him.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Learning Every Day
We as a family spend time together in many ways. Whether at the dinner table, walking in the neighborhood, or going to the grocery store. I've heard it mentioned that it's not the "quality" it's the "quantity" of time that you spend - and to be honest that seemed backwards to me at first. Yet from experience, we as family realize that we wouldn't have quality time together without actually spending the time first.
In the past year or so, I've made an effort to help my friend who is captain of our local "All Pro Dad" Chapter on the Eastside. This has given me the opportunity to spend time with my daughter Jenny, as well as with other dads and their children. We learn, laugh, and share together in such ways that I really look forward to every month. It is a wonderful experience and gives our family the opportunity to extend our reach to our community of friends and neighbors. These experiences develop character in our daughter and in ourselves, and for that we are very grateful.
In the past year or so, I've made an effort to help my friend who is captain of our local "All Pro Dad" Chapter on the Eastside. This has given me the opportunity to spend time with my daughter Jenny, as well as with other dads and their children. We learn, laugh, and share together in such ways that I really look forward to every month. It is a wonderful experience and gives our family the opportunity to extend our reach to our community of friends and neighbors. These experiences develop character in our daughter and in ourselves, and for that we are very grateful.
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Learing to handle your childs emotions
I can tell you that as a family we have struggled with the "strong willed" emotions of our 6 year old for more than a few months now, and it has been a real challenge. It is getting better as we focus on improvement. The worst part of any child's emotional outbursts is that it really pushes our parental buttons and can lead to anger and or words that we can regret. Quite frankly it is a real threat to good parenting and I'm sure most of you can relate to this. In my recent readings - primarily "Have a New Kid By Friday" by Dr. Kevin Lehman, I have to say that there are some key points that have helped us immensely in dealing with this.
#1 Respect - If you want your child to respect you, you must respect the child and that means giving them freedom and responsibility to make errors and learn from their mistakes. We can't coddle our little ones forever and as they grow up, they need to be understood and trusted.
#2 Use encouragement rather than praise - and don't expect perfection
#3 Be calm and assertive - don't escalate the emotions as your child will reflect them back to you. Our children can become not only a mirror of ourselves, but with their own personalities we have to understand that this can be multiplied back at us !!
It is no wonder that kids from families that yell at each other communicate by "yelling" . People that communicate in a peaceable fashion will find it more likely that they will receive respectful responses from (and between) their children. We all have our moments and patience can wear thin. I can tell you that we are learning these things around here and it gets better with time if you are committed to dealing with it. The hardest part for me is to focus on what is at hand and deal with it "now" rather than just putting it aside hoping it will just go away, or thinking it's "no big deal" and letting it go on. We had to miss a family movie that we planned to see the other day due to my daughter's outburst. Luckily, we stayed calm and dealt with the situation by explaining to her that she would not be able to go and that we had to cancel that day due to her outburst. We explained how disappointed we were, and the next day we as parents went to the movie and she stayed home with Grandma. She understood (without getting upset) why she could not go. A learning experience that helped not only our daughter, but ourselves.
#1 Respect - If you want your child to respect you, you must respect the child and that means giving them freedom and responsibility to make errors and learn from their mistakes. We can't coddle our little ones forever and as they grow up, they need to be understood and trusted.
#2 Use encouragement rather than praise - and don't expect perfection
#3 Be calm and assertive - don't escalate the emotions as your child will reflect them back to you. Our children can become not only a mirror of ourselves, but with their own personalities we have to understand that this can be multiplied back at us !!
It is no wonder that kids from families that yell at each other communicate by "yelling" . People that communicate in a peaceable fashion will find it more likely that they will receive respectful responses from (and between) their children. We all have our moments and patience can wear thin. I can tell you that we are learning these things around here and it gets better with time if you are committed to dealing with it. The hardest part for me is to focus on what is at hand and deal with it "now" rather than just putting it aside hoping it will just go away, or thinking it's "no big deal" and letting it go on. We had to miss a family movie that we planned to see the other day due to my daughter's outburst. Luckily, we stayed calm and dealt with the situation by explaining to her that she would not be able to go and that we had to cancel that day due to her outburst. We explained how disappointed we were, and the next day we as parents went to the movie and she stayed home with Grandma. She understood (without getting upset) why she could not go. A learning experience that helped not only our daughter, but ourselves.
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Anger - How do we Love one Another?
Why do we get angry? What is it about relationships that we end up mad at others? We know that it is part of the human condition. We understand that in any interaction there may be disagreement, or even sometimes resentment. Shocking isn't it? The worst part is that much of this happens within a family, between those who are supposed to love and understand each other the most. Actually I think it's easier to reach a boiling point with the folks we are closest to for the very simple reason that we are in close proximity to one another day after day or hour after hour. My trials this past week were reaching a crescendo last Saturday, and the only good part is that I didn't yell or scream at anyone. Oh yes, I surely made clear my anger to those I was unhappy with "the look", or simply left the room. Yes I may have raised my voice, but didn't choose to argue. I was so mad, I felt that there was NO WAY I was going to Timberlake (our church) on Sunday - not interested or worthy I guess. I was stiff necked and stubborn. It became about me, and how no one else seemed to give a damn about ME. Hmm, a bit selfish isn't it? Not very loving at all (except maybe of loving "oneself").
Being mad at our spouse and our kids isn't exactly the kind of Christian attitude we want others to know about, is it? A shameful situation, but maybe not. It's a natural part of being the imperfect beings that we are. Only by the grace of our Lord can we fully appreciate our broken nature. The hope and forgiveness that comes from Jesus Christ to each one of us - if we chose to recognize and accept. But would I ?
Then I had a very vivid "eye opening" dream on Saturday night which brought it into clarity. I was looking back over a very beautiful and welcoming landscape that yearned for me to stay. It was something comfortably familiar. The odd part was it was glimpsed through a cage. When I turned forward, I saw something distant and beautiful, yet clearly not easy. There was a slow moving River, not very wide yet I needed to paddle upstream. There were signs along this River, somewhat threatening. They didn't fit in. In the distance, in front of the most beautiful part - was a large damn and it appeared ominous and halting. Yet I knew that I needed to go that way and beyond. The Way. I proceeded in my little boat, up River and the more I paddled, the more I needed to continue. And then, a darkness like I've never seen before rose up in threatening pose. I shouted with unwavering confidence in the Lord at this beast, and there was assurance that my commitment to continue forward would not be stopped. At that point, I woke up and realized it was a dream. Or was it?
So guess what ... I clearly knew what to do. Recognized and rebuked, the anger and calling from a darker place would not be allowed to control my life. I prayed to Lord Jesus, and thanked him. I prayed for what I knew was necessary, and how hard it would be did not matter, and darkness could not win. I read scripture and the words of the Lord comforted me. A sense of hope and acceptance came back to me that Sunday morning, and it was clear that I would be going to Timberlake with Joy in my heart. That morning at church, it was about "Others" and "Prayer". My dear wife Kathy has been emailing Pastor Gary Gonzalez questions, and he replied with loving support and scripture this past week to help her through things which I should have been focusing on as well. We were happy to attend, and received kind words of encouragement and offers of prayer. Pastor Gary reminded me that Anger itself is not a sin, it's what you do with the anger that truly counts. We'll I knew there was more to do to keep it from coming back. Later, after the service, Pastor Gary reminded us that there would be group prayer for those who so desired. Kathy was first, and her concerns regarding challenges and threats mirrored mine in many ways. Gary and several of the other members prayed for her, in such gracious and loving fashion. There were others that followed who had issues far more pressing or hurting than our own. We prayed for them, and this gave us even more to be thankful for. In the end, I knew I needed prayer, and confessed my selfish anger to our group.
Pastor Gary spoke a prayer of such grace and understanding that it gave me great hope that the Lord would help me through this turmoil. Others spoke such words of encouragement in prayer, I've never experienced anything quite like it. To know that others love you even when they don't know you is truly God's love that he has for all people. And it reminds us of how important it is to love all, our family, and the family of God's children.
Being mad at our spouse and our kids isn't exactly the kind of Christian attitude we want others to know about, is it? A shameful situation, but maybe not. It's a natural part of being the imperfect beings that we are. Only by the grace of our Lord can we fully appreciate our broken nature. The hope and forgiveness that comes from Jesus Christ to each one of us - if we chose to recognize and accept. But would I ?
Then I had a very vivid "eye opening" dream on Saturday night which brought it into clarity. I was looking back over a very beautiful and welcoming landscape that yearned for me to stay. It was something comfortably familiar. The odd part was it was glimpsed through a cage. When I turned forward, I saw something distant and beautiful, yet clearly not easy. There was a slow moving River, not very wide yet I needed to paddle upstream. There were signs along this River, somewhat threatening. They didn't fit in. In the distance, in front of the most beautiful part - was a large damn and it appeared ominous and halting. Yet I knew that I needed to go that way and beyond. The Way. I proceeded in my little boat, up River and the more I paddled, the more I needed to continue. And then, a darkness like I've never seen before rose up in threatening pose. I shouted with unwavering confidence in the Lord at this beast, and there was assurance that my commitment to continue forward would not be stopped. At that point, I woke up and realized it was a dream. Or was it?
So guess what ... I clearly knew what to do. Recognized and rebuked, the anger and calling from a darker place would not be allowed to control my life. I prayed to Lord Jesus, and thanked him. I prayed for what I knew was necessary, and how hard it would be did not matter, and darkness could not win. I read scripture and the words of the Lord comforted me. A sense of hope and acceptance came back to me that Sunday morning, and it was clear that I would be going to Timberlake with Joy in my heart. That morning at church, it was about "Others" and "Prayer". My dear wife Kathy has been emailing Pastor Gary Gonzalez questions, and he replied with loving support and scripture this past week to help her through things which I should have been focusing on as well. We were happy to attend, and received kind words of encouragement and offers of prayer. Pastor Gary reminded me that Anger itself is not a sin, it's what you do with the anger that truly counts. We'll I knew there was more to do to keep it from coming back. Later, after the service, Pastor Gary reminded us that there would be group prayer for those who so desired. Kathy was first, and her concerns regarding challenges and threats mirrored mine in many ways. Gary and several of the other members prayed for her, in such gracious and loving fashion. There were others that followed who had issues far more pressing or hurting than our own. We prayed for them, and this gave us even more to be thankful for. In the end, I knew I needed prayer, and confessed my selfish anger to our group.
Pastor Gary spoke a prayer of such grace and understanding that it gave me great hope that the Lord would help me through this turmoil. Others spoke such words of encouragement in prayer, I've never experienced anything quite like it. To know that others love you even when they don't know you is truly God's love that he has for all people. And it reminds us of how important it is to love all, our family, and the family of God's children.
Sunday, January 20, 2008
A New Word - EXHORT aka Parakaleo
The Greek Word is Parakaleo. The English word is Exhort.
Sunday was a day of learning for Borg (at Timberlake Christian Fellowship), and I have to say that Bruce Bickel really made me think more deeply about my relationship with Christ through others in a relational sense. To know what one has been missing is amazing indeed. Now I can understand so much better what my Brother in Christ - Pastor Jeff Harmon (The River) - has been saying all these months about an organic "Authentic" relational church. I didn't quite get it before, but I sure do now. Thank you Jeff !!
Bruce stated today that if he had only one sermon left go give in his life, it would be the one he gave today. It was emotional for him, and his passion was felt by all. The message of today - to "Exhort One Another" - was true indeed in it's relational urgency. I never really thought about this word. Can we be good Christians in isolation, on our own? Or just sitting in a church on Sundays or reading our bibles individually at the breakfast table? Not if we understand the word "Exhort" and how important it is for us as Christians. Not only are we to have an intimate relationship with Jesus, we are to have intimate fellowship with each other. A reciprocal connection within the community where we belong. To offer support and comfort to one another is to truly understand what our Lord wants from us. We are not living in isolation, we have a community and a belonging connection that is so important. We must encourage one another to strive upwards, heavenly to Christ.
To humble ourselves, and love one another so much - as to keep one another under "spiritual protection" as Bruce so eloquently noted. A "Community of People seeking to live in the awesome flow of God's grace" as Pastor Jeff Harmon so passionately pursues in his new ministry in our beloved hometown of Ellensburg, WA. We ask - "What is the true church?" It is the church that Christ always wanted us to have ... a community of people who exhort and love one another. Connected, Belonging, Supporting, Loving, Urging, Encouraging. I hope and pray that by the Grace of God we will be able to learn to do these things together, and that your prayers will help us realize what we can become.
Hebrews 3:12-13 (King James Version)
12Take heed, brethren, lest there be in any of you an evil heart of unbelief, in departing from the living God.
13But exhort one another daily, while it is called To day; lest any of you be hardened through the deceitfulness of sin.
Sunday was a day of learning for Borg (at Timberlake Christian Fellowship), and I have to say that Bruce Bickel really made me think more deeply about my relationship with Christ through others in a relational sense. To know what one has been missing is amazing indeed. Now I can understand so much better what my Brother in Christ - Pastor Jeff Harmon (The River) - has been saying all these months about an organic "Authentic" relational church. I didn't quite get it before, but I sure do now. Thank you Jeff !!
Bruce stated today that if he had only one sermon left go give in his life, it would be the one he gave today. It was emotional for him, and his passion was felt by all. The message of today - to "Exhort One Another" - was true indeed in it's relational urgency. I never really thought about this word. Can we be good Christians in isolation, on our own? Or just sitting in a church on Sundays or reading our bibles individually at the breakfast table? Not if we understand the word "Exhort" and how important it is for us as Christians. Not only are we to have an intimate relationship with Jesus, we are to have intimate fellowship with each other. A reciprocal connection within the community where we belong. To offer support and comfort to one another is to truly understand what our Lord wants from us. We are not living in isolation, we have a community and a belonging connection that is so important. We must encourage one another to strive upwards, heavenly to Christ.
To humble ourselves, and love one another so much - as to keep one another under "spiritual protection" as Bruce so eloquently noted. A "Community of People seeking to live in the awesome flow of God's grace" as Pastor Jeff Harmon so passionately pursues in his new ministry in our beloved hometown of Ellensburg, WA. We ask - "What is the true church?" It is the church that Christ always wanted us to have ... a community of people who exhort and love one another. Connected, Belonging, Supporting, Loving, Urging, Encouraging. I hope and pray that by the Grace of God we will be able to learn to do these things together, and that your prayers will help us realize what we can become.
Hebrews 3:12-13 (King James Version)
12Take heed, brethren, lest there be in any of you an evil heart of unbelief, in departing from the living God.
13But exhort one another daily, while it is called To day; lest any of you be hardened through the deceitfulness of sin.
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