Anger - How do we Love one Another?

Why do we get angry? What is it about relationships that we end up mad at others? We know that it is part of the human condition. We understand that in any interaction there may be disagreement, or even sometimes resentment. Shocking isn't it? The worst part is that much of this happens within a family, between those who are supposed to love and understand each other the most. Actually I think it's easier to reach a boiling point with the folks we are closest to for the very simple reason that we are in close proximity to one another day after day or hour after hour. My trials this past week were reaching a crescendo last Saturday, and the only good part is that I didn't yell or scream at anyone. Oh yes, I surely made clear my anger to those I was unhappy with "the look", or simply left the room. Yes I may have raised my voice, but didn't choose to argue. I was so mad, I felt that there was NO WAY I was going to Timberlake (our church) on Sunday - not interested or worthy I guess. I was stiff necked and stubborn. It became about me, and how no one else seemed to give a damn about ME. Hmm, a bit selfish isn't it? Not very loving at all (except maybe of loving "oneself").

Being mad at our spouse and our kids isn't exactly the kind of Christian attitude we want others to know about, is it? A shameful situation, but maybe not. It's a natural part of being the imperfect beings that we are. Only by the grace of our Lord can we fully appreciate our broken nature. The hope and forgiveness that comes from Jesus Christ to each one of us - if we chose to recognize and accept. But would I ?

Then I had a very vivid "eye opening" dream on Saturday night which brought it into clarity. I was looking back over a very beautiful and welcoming landscape that yearned for me to stay. It was something comfortably familiar. The odd part was it was glimpsed through a cage. When I turned forward, I saw something distant and beautiful, yet clearly not easy. There was a slow moving River, not very wide yet I needed to paddle upstream. There were signs along this River, somewhat threatening. They didn't fit in. In the distance, in front of the most beautiful part - was a large damn and it appeared ominous and halting. Yet I knew that I needed to go that way and beyond. The Way. I proceeded in my little boat, up River and the more I paddled, the more I needed to continue. And then, a darkness like I've never seen before rose up in threatening pose. I shouted with unwavering confidence in the Lord at this beast, and there was assurance that my commitment to continue forward would not be stopped. At that point, I woke up and realized it was a dream. Or was it?

So guess what ... I clearly knew what to do. Recognized and rebuked, the anger and calling from a darker place would not be allowed to control my life. I prayed to Lord Jesus, and thanked him. I prayed for what I knew was necessary, and how hard it would be did not matter, and darkness could not win. I read scripture and the words of the Lord comforted me. A sense of hope and acceptance came back to me that Sunday morning, and it was clear that I would be going to Timberlake with Joy in my heart. That morning at church, it was about "Others" and "Prayer". My dear wife Kathy has been emailing Pastor Gary Gonzalez questions, and he replied with loving support and scripture this past week to help her through things which I should have been focusing on as well. We were happy to attend, and received kind words of encouragement and offers of prayer. Pastor Gary reminded me that Anger itself is not a sin, it's what you do with the anger that truly counts. We'll I knew there was more to do to keep it from coming back. Later, after the service, Pastor Gary reminded us that there would be group prayer for those who so desired. Kathy was first, and her concerns regarding challenges and threats mirrored mine in many ways. Gary and several of the other members prayed for her, in such gracious and loving fashion. There were others that followed who had issues far more pressing or hurting than our own. We prayed for them, and this gave us even more to be thankful for. In the end, I knew I needed prayer, and confessed my selfish anger to our group.

Pastor Gary spoke a prayer of such grace and understanding that it gave me great hope that the Lord would help me through this turmoil. Others spoke such words of encouragement in prayer, I've never experienced anything quite like it. To know that others love you even when they don't know you is truly God's love that he has for all people. And it reminds us of how important it is to love all, our family, and the family of God's children.